In the case of the gas station across the street from my apartment in downtown Savannah, Chris Farley's SNL translation skills hold true. El Cheapo is Spanish for The Cheapo. I suppose the name is a vain attempt at putting an ethnic spin on the idea of a gas station to better sales, but somewhere along the lines of public relations the El Cheapo executives decided they should create their own form of the Spanish language to sound more catchy. Despite the title, the inside of the convenience store on the corner of Duffy and Abercorn Streets lacks any sort of Hispanic charm, or really any charm at all.
The store is a small room comprised of four aisles, a smaller back room, and the checkout counter. The various aisles offer usual gas station edibles like candy bars and potato chips. One of the aisles features a wide selection of potted meats, many of which would be hard to find even in most grocery stores. Jarred, semi-boneless pigs feet in vinegar stood out among the rest. I was surprised to note that unlike most items sitting around in El Cheapo, the pigs feet jars weren't coated in a year's worth of dust. Another aisle conveniently stocks baby toys next to condoms and automotive parts.
Each aisle leads to the rear wall of beer and liquor coolers, standard in most convenience stores. On Sundays, however, this particular shop chooses to lock the cooler doors using broom handles and two-by-fours, "no drinkin on Sunday" etched into the wood.
Somewhat hidden by cardboard stand-ups of half-naked women is the back room, the neighborhood gambling hot spot. Three arcade style electronic slot machines sit in the dark plunking their 8-bit versions of Rat Pack lounge favorites. A few neighborhood grandmas sit here on most weekday afternoons, only with the sorest expressions on their faces. The closest thing to a casino in the Victorian district.
I can admit that El Cheapo saved me when my girlfriend ran out of eggs in the middle of a recipe (and I suppose being able to trust the dairy products there is a plus). The clerks are friendly and remember your face quickly, making ID card fumbling infrequent. The logo, a crudely-rendered donkey kicking at the words "high prices," is a bit of false advertising, but what can you ask for in gas prices these days.
El Cheapo on Abercorn isn't very cheap or ethnic, but it lives up to its name as a "food mart," as long as you're into canned meat or frightening pink cookies called "Uncle Al's Stage Planks."
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